Family

I want to talk about family. Families are important to the social and emotional development of children. Within the family unit children are loved, nurtured, taught valuable skills and have a sense of belonging. At least this is the case when family works. When, in the event a child, especially a child with albinism, is without parents or siblings, then there is loss.    
My family of origin is huge! Just look at the photo above. And this is just one side of the family. I grew up amongst my siblings and tons of cousins on my maternal grandmother’s side of the family. There were gatherings, celebrations and Sunday dinners after church. When with my cousins, I was free to just be. The older ones looked after the younger children, of which I was one. Yet there was camaraderie, there was love and there was fun. 
I have shared a small bit about my mother. Yes she was surprised by giving birth to a child with albinism, yes she did the best she could, given my needs and the care of her other three children, and yes she loved me as much as she could. She was my advocate, demanding that I be allowed a mainstreamed education before that was ever a requirement for children with disabilities. And, yes, she reached her own breaking point where she just wanted me to look like everyone else. By the time I was in high school, mother could not do or give anymore for/to me. She would address me in the third person or ignore me altogether. I continued to have household responsibilities, however more often than not I was left to myself. 
For many children with albinism living in East Africa family has come to mean the relationships they have with their peers, teachers and care givers within the residential schools they call home. They do not have parental support and love afforded others, for many have been shunned by their communities. I cannot pretend to know how these children feel about their situation. I do however have compassion for them. I do know that children are resilient and that in these schools there is camaraderie, there is a bond shared. For without their existence the safety and well being of these young people would be in greater jeopardy.   
I have been fortunate enough to leave behind aspects of my family of origin that no longer worked for me and instead create the family that suited me. Back in high school I had a teacher who saw potential in me and who also recognized I needed mentoring. She is still a vital part of my life. I like to say that I have two mothers. I was birthed and raised by one and sent off to the finishing school of the other. I now refer to Carol as mom. She has and continues to love me, push me, encourage me as well as tell me hard truths when I need them. Mom is the woman I go to when I am troubled or when I need to bounce ideas off of someone. This is the nature of our relationship. Mom and i share things with each other. Deep things. I have been profoundly affected having her as my mom. My albinism has never been an issue for her. Mom has always seen well beyond my physical attributes. I have learned immeasurable skills from her for which I am eternally grateful. Coupled with the childhood lessons I learned from mother I am an unstoppable force. 
There are those who believe that blood is thicker than water. I believe that it is the water along with the blood that sustains me. 

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